Currently Playing Princes of the Universe By Queen see related

- Princes Of The Universe (Highlander theme, im so goddamn white, damn you suburbs!)

My head is in so many different places (hahahahahahaha, get the laughs out). I'm concentrating less than usual, thinking about everything and i started laughing at stuff i'll just remember out of nowhere, my coworkers at both jobs are kinda like oook. which mkes me feel so damn much better. Anyway Tom's back, THANK GOD! and so I've just been chilling of late, pretty much ended the B.S. i've been putting up with and just go out when i please, late as that may be. I guess optimism turned into a dream and i was either to scared or too stupid to put a stop to it, either way fuck it. ANd god damn if i dont finish the summer reading books, Why cant John Irving stay on one subject for the love of God. It sucksmy nuts it really really does, blegh. so im trying to just stay afloat amidst this sea of chaos, hmm for something i just came up wiht thats pretty good. . . well friends i miss you call me sometime we'll do anything, hopefully i'll have a car, it seems everytime i find a good one its a day late and a dollar short. There are like 6 new black guys in school, i'm not sure wether or not i like that yet, my blackness is in enough question as it is. Then again maybe this'll do me some good.

Oh yeah, Nicole if youre still talking to me (i'm assuming u got the apology texts i sent you last week) thats the song I was talking about.

To all those going to college, good luck! I already miss you . . .. despite the fact that i havent seen you this summer

well g'night

Currently Playing Spider-Man 2 - Music From And Inspired By By Various Artists see related

- Vindicated - - -

I love you, I love you more than anything. I swear to God i do . . . . I just don't know how to say it. and i'm so sorry that it means nothing because of what i can't do.

Currently Reading The Da Vinci Code By Dan Brown see related

Hey everybody,

things are going good right now, just got my license back and started work at footlocker today, come visit me if u want, just call to make sure im there . work was fun, it was a little weird but i felt really at home there, a quality not found at most jobs. Of course it could be the fact that i walked in thinking my rate was going to be 6.75 an hour, and found out it was going to be 7.25, no complaints. It was fun though. After that i got home tried to convince my dad to let me use the car, now that i have my license, he said no, i asked why, he replied because you need to learn how to drive. Of all the B.S. excuses! What does the man think a LEARNER'S PERMIT, is for? but w/e when my mom came home we went to pick up some stuff for smooties (the nectar of the Gods!) and we were just in the car when tom called and told me miguel was in the hospital, so we drove over to see him. The kid was skatboarding, fell and got a huge gash over his eye, looked painful, but i'm proud of him he didnt show any pain, although he was being quite the pussy, asking everyone, even dentists, if they thought he needed stitches. He did. so after some joking and waiting he finally got them, which was funny in itself because they injected him wiht cocaine and but what - i swear to God - looked like a klan mask on his face, kinda freaked me out, but anyway it was cool. So after that tom and i left got some taco bell, and now im here. I can only hope tomorrow will be as good as today.

ps- im working thursday if anyones interested

and oh yeah does anyone know where my new picture came from?

Currently Playing The Hunger For More By Lloyd Banks see related

- On Fire -

jusHow do things go bad so quickly? Everything was going so well for the beginning of this summer and now its all falling down, at least im seeing more of my friends though, despite not having my license. Which i did get by the way allow me to elaborate.

I'm at camp <which sucked so much ass it  was literally the worst year ever up there> and on the econd to last day, my birthday my acne medication started to react with all of the smoke and fire ans hit that i couldnt avoid throughout the week. why couldnt i avoid it? because i was the oldest person there <another reason i shouldnt have been there>, and the kids there were, well kinda dumb when it came to camping. For example when starting a fire one of the key ingredients is wood, and the kids come up to me like hey matt we can't find any wood. keep in mind that the canmpsite is in a forest, how the hell can u not find wood in a forest? its a fucking forest not a goddamn desert! Anyway i had to help all of them build their fires yada, yada, yada, and on my b-day at dinner my face is burning like mad, to the point that i feel like there were about a thousand tiny fires being lit in every pore, my skin was bone dry and the pain was relentless, and that is the only reason i got to go home early.

So me and my dad are driving home at like 2 in the am and it was cool we had a really good talk. and the next day i slept like the whole time. Sunday is when shit got bad, i was fed up with their shit and they were mad at me cuz i lost the remote, and i just started talking shit to them and we got into a whole big thing and then i took a nap for an hour. miguel, tom, & andrew took me out to see spider-man for the 3rd time as a birthday present, then right after i went to see i, robot cuz my fam was in there, went home and went to bed.

The next morning i was supposed to confirm my appointment for tuesday, the school called and my dad cancelled. i nearly flipped a shit. and got into another arguement with my parents that night. I lost.

 My mom comes into my room the next morning and tells me i can take the road test tomorrow but i lose my license for 2 weeks. Since i knew that i wouldnt have been able to rescedule it that soon <i was lucky to get the day i did after changing it the first time> i made a deal to go that day if she took it for 3, she accepted and i had the task of calling the driving school and rescheduling. <I'm going to pause now to mention the really cool thing andrew and tom were gonna do for me: I was talking to them the night before and they were going to get up at 7 let me use andrews car to practice and take the test, then drop me off later. i love my friends. i had to turn them down the next morning tho due to the aforementioned>

So the school picks me up i do pretty good practicing we pick up the last kid and then, we take the test. the kid who went first aced it, but he had the easy guy. the easy guy decides to leave for a coffee break and we get some chick who is totally random and does every test differently. the next kid goes and didnt do bad at all. now its my turn. I had to do the entire fucking course, so im pretty much crapping my pants and then we get to parallel parking, in the unused lane, where the cones are askew. I could align with the curb after 2 attempts and started freaking out, so i do it again and finally get it, k-turn and back up, a little crooked at first. and then the test is over and im ecstatic, quick line at the dmv all 3 of us were in and out.

Now all i want to do is go to tom's show him my license and drop in and suprise a friend, but what happens? my dad turns into asshole of the year and wont let me borrow the car, i could understand if it was about the insurancebut no he used that as a defense after the fact, i wasnt aloud to use the car at all because he "did'nt think i was ready, or that i was aloud to drive on my own" THATS WHY I HAD A FUCKING PERMIT!! omg, i was so frustrated all i wanted was to use the car for an hour, i was even going to pick my sister up from work. but alas i didnt get to then my mom came home took the license from me the next day, and now i cant drive at all cuz my permit is void and in any case the dmv  took it when i got my license, so in short, my parents are assholes.

all because i finally got mad. . . . i hate this, i hate that i cant be there for u